hahahahaha have you ever saw a crooked waist??? as in really crooked, the whole waist is slanted to one side. haha i just did. and guess who?? its my mum!!! oh man. haha now she's got a not-so-pretty- face and a crooked waist!! hahahahahaha opps :x but her waist is realli crooked. its really really really funny! haha even all her fats is slanted to one side. hahahahaha alright should stop this yah before the thunder strikes me for laughing at my own mother. hee

alright, today i'm so so so proud of myself. guess what??? i help my mum with the housework. i sort of sweep the floor and i pack my own wardrobe! haha then i realise that i've lots of ugly clothes and shouldn't be inside my wardrobe and its so un-wearable. haha therefore, i've pack them in a plastic bag to be kept in my storeroom. haha and yes today is a sinful day. i eat and eat and eat. sign..i really really wanna lose weight! its all my sis fault. after i've eaten my dinner then she go and order pizza. and yes there is no possibilty that i can resist the smell and all right? so i join them for my 2nd dinner. what the?! haha i'm 1kg heavier now and that suck. argh!!!!

been quite some time since i last blogged yah? haha yes exams are over!!! hooray!!! and yes, i've sent the letter to his mum. this is only the first step i guess but i'm will survive!! haha alright, life's getting abit boring, abit too relax and slack. But the thing is i'm lazy to even step out of the house. haha I've watch finished the stairway to heaven show. Damn the scriptwriter. haha. The ending is so so sucky.

hmm....perhaps i'll live on bread for the next few day because i've so much stuff to buy. i wanna buy a new jean skirt..very nice one, french manicure kit, nice slipper, probably some nice top. i've run out of tops to wear. haha bought a really nice bottom last friday but then..i've no top to go with it so hafta find one yah. Then i wanna buy some really nice necklace. So i guess all these will cost me a bomb so i'll hafta start to save up yah..if possible i wanna buy the whole town. Can? Can? Can? say yes? haha

I really regretted reading his letters. why can't i just wait till my exams are over??!!! damn. *sign anyway i've already read already so cannot turn back time. yes, again in his letters he keep saying i've faith in you, i believe in you. I'm so sick. why can't he just stop saying that to make me feel better. i feel as though i've betrayed him. shit la. but never mind, like what mic says..i've to be decisive. At the end of the day, i will be the one deciding on how i'm going to live my life yah? NOBODY has the right to control me. So guess what? i've finish written the letter that i'm gonna send to his mum. and yes, i'll do it after thurs..maybe right after exam. hah then i'll be free!!!! alright =)

hmm, today's the accounting paper. I just hope that i can pass. haha somehow i manage to balance my trial balance!!! haha alright, now i've two more papers to go and yeah..holiday~ haha

i'm at scott house now. haha to study for tomorrow's accounts. BUT they're all doing something else except studying. talking, playing ps2 and stuff. haha today's the marketing paper. it's over!!!! so happy! haha am already in holiday mood. =) seriously, this period of time, i haven't really been concentrating on my studies, instead i don't know why..YES i DON'T KNOW WHY i kept thinking about that thing. yes that thing that has been bothering me all the while. its haunting me. *signs i just wanna get it over and done with. and yes, i'm gonna do that after my exam which is thurs! yeah! i'm gonna be free!!!!!! woo hoo!! lalalalala...

and yes, i just hope that i will pass my exam. but somehow i just feel that i've been kinda sway these few days. I pray and pray that my period won't come during my exam period because the cramp just makes me cannot concentrate on my paper but guess what? today's my first paper..and yes today's my first day of my period. how sway can i get you tell me??!!!! haha somemore today my pad drop into the toilet bowl!!! but its un-used de la. *signs i'm just damn sway la. haha

why is it that always i look at my lecture notes and try to study and concentrate..i can't??? i always thought of food, sleep except studying. oh i even volunteer to fold the incense paper just to escape from studying. haha but folding incense paper is fun la. somemore its consider as a form of exercise yah? so i won't be that guilty when i eat too much because i DID exercise. =)

When you say, "I miss the things you do"
I just want to get back close again to you
But for now, your voice is far
How I miss you and I miss your love
And though, all the days that pass me by so slow
All the emptiness inside me flows All around
and there's no way out
I'm just thinking so much of you
There was never any doubt

I can't wait forever
If you're not there
I can't wait forever if I dont know it's worth it all
I just wish that I were next to you tonight
And I just want you to know
I can't wait forever

alright, i've made my decision. I'm gonna be selfish this time and not gonna give a damn to what others might think of me. so what if his mum hate me, i don't care. or perhaps i may pretend not to care. This may be a rather tough journey because i still love him but for the seek of us, i'm going to put an end to my suffering. I'm selfish you may say, yes i am. But i've come to realise that not being selfish sometimes isn't fair to yourself in any way. After my exam, i'm gonna tell his mum how i'm really feeling deep down and i'm gonna give up. I'm not strong. I can't stand it anymore and i'm just afraid that i'm turing into some depression patient or something. I really hope that his mum will try to understand because...i don't know. or maybe his mum will hate me for life. I don't wanna know. Then i'll write letter to him. But i'm just afraid that after all these, i'm gonna regret. what if...argh!!! I've made my decision yah. wish me luck =)

I'm so sick.sick of everything. and mostly him. i wish i could tell him how i feel. tell him that i'm not happy at all. not happy staying this way. instead i felt pressurized and stressful. sometimes i blame him for being so selfish. did he ever try to think for me at all??? everytime i ask myself, the ans is no. i felt so stuck. his mum and all. like there's no way i'm gonna get out of all this shit. its not that i don't love him anymore..honestly, i still do. but it seems that my love for him have slowly turn into a form of burden, a form of stress and pressure. i don't want it that way. i want to think of him and smile and not think of him and cry. i want him to know how i feel about this relationship. But always, reading his letter makes me even more guilty of feeling this way and never wanna tell him about my true feelings. he said, i've faith in my girlfriend. and seeing this just makes mi more miserable. does anyone ever know how i feel? i'm practically living in hell.

i want to break myself free from all these but i really don't know how. i guess its about time to really think for myself. and stop thinking for him. i should be selfish. i really should be. somebody please help me. =(

Its been awhile since i last blogged. haha, didn't really have the time to blog. Now, projects are finally over!!! yeah! =) today had our last presentation, for the semester. haha but the sad news is exams coming in one week times. i really hafta buck up and study real hard. erm..ok maybe not that hard la. haha yesterday watch the chinese documentary show "Frontline" and feature two really really really really and i mean really skinny girl. They like real skinny lo. The topic is about losing weight la. haha then this girl falls from a 40 something to 35kg. thats was like..OH MY GOD!!! BUT the thing is she doesn't appear to be that pretty and heathly. its like TOO skinny already and she's really sort of out of her mind because she said that her prefect weight in mind is 34kg!!! she just fail to understand that she's currently way too skinny and kind of ugly. haha, seriously. i really feel sad for her lo. and she's being chased out from her home just becuse she refuse to eat and practically live on fruits and milo. i mean imagine her parents everyday cook then ask her eat..then she refuse??? haha if i were her, i would just eat. haha so nice why not right?? haha i also wanna lose weight ma. who doesn't right? i also not satisfied with my figure ma but then also don't needa over do it right? diet until left only the bone very pretty meh? NOT AT ALL. haha being just right is nice. haha and yes, since sec days..i say i wanna lose weight but then, it seems really difficult to. haha..i'm still like that ma. sadded =x
haha but never mind la..just wanna get my point to those who are already looking like a tek co( those used to hang clothes wan) haha please wake up and look at yourself. there really isn't much for you to lose and no fats for you to tone. hahahaha yesterday when i watch that show, i feel like i'm watching some horror show or something lo cos during that whole show...i was like " oh my god", "Eeeee" and with my mouth opened. haha

its been awhile since i last blog yah. haha been kinda busy these few days. project project and still project.and this nightmare haven end yet it's not gonna end till next week. argh!!! haha but i guess i will get used to it yah cos now its only semester 1 of year 1. damn. haha yah yesterday attend a english enrichment course. It only for those who score a C5 or 6 in their Os. so yah i went cos i'm a C5. haha..i know my english is damn lousy but then do we really have to attend that stupid course. teach us how and when to add a "s" behind the verbs. i mean we do know that right??? or maybe is just that we've forgot. aiya..even if now teach us again we will still forget one yah? haha after that went mic house to do effective writing project. watch superstar at her house. ahaha went home after that..didn't really do much yesterday la. as usual, like i've guess..the bus that i took home had lots of cockroaches. but i'm rather used to it la so this time ain't that bad cos i sat on the outside. hahaha clever right?? =)

Profile

NAME
Xiaoping
8 Sep 88
smu

Wishlist/shopping list

* To have a flawless complexion!
* To become a housewife!
* Collagen, Meiji
* Benefit posie tint, eyecon
* New laptop sleeve
* Never ending clothes!
* More money!

Exits

My blogshop
Scott
Mic
Dearie

Archives

09/01/2004 - 10/01/2004 06/01/2005 - 07/01/2005 07/01/2005 - 08/01/2005 08/01/2005 - 09/01/2005 09/01/2005 - 10/01/2005 10/01/2005 - 11/01/2005 11/01/2005 - 12/01/2005 04/01/2006 - 05/01/2006 06/01/2006 - 07/01/2006 09/01/2006 - 10/01/2006 10/01/2006 - 11/01/2006 11/01/2006 - 12/01/2006 01/01/2007 - 02/01/2007 02/01/2007 - 03/01/2007 08/01/2007 - 09/01/2007 09/01/2007 - 10/01/2007 03/01/2008 - 04/01/2008 04/01/2008 - 05/01/2008 06/01/2008 - 07/01/2008 07/01/2008 - 08/01/2008 08/01/2008 - 09/01/2008 09/01/2008 - 10/01/2008 10/01/2008 - 11/01/2008 11/01/2008 - 12/01/2008 12/01/2008 - 01/01/2009 01/01/2009 - 02/01/2009 02/01/2009 - 03/01/2009 03/01/2009 - 04/01/2009 04/01/2009 - 05/01/2009 05/01/2009 - 06/01/2009 06/01/2009 - 07/01/2009 07/01/2009 - 08/01/2009 08/01/2009 - 09/01/2009 09/01/2009 - 10/01/2009 10/01/2009 - 11/01/2009 11/01/2009 - 12/01/2009 12/01/2009 - 01/01/2010 01/01/2010 - 02/01/2010 02/01/2010 - 03/01/2010 03/01/2010 - 04/01/2010 04/01/2010 - 05/01/2010 05/01/2010 - 06/01/2010 07/01/2010 - 08/01/2010 08/01/2010 - 09/01/2010 10/01/2010 - 11/01/2010

Credits

designed by lil.queens
photos: bexidaisy on DA
host: imageshack & imeem
inspiration & lyrics: TLG
title script source unknown.